please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
