My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
