Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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