coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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