At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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