Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
