how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
