Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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