oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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