I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
