the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I think I died a long time ago.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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