The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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