exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
We're too hungover to prance.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
