She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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