My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
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