Duck Duck Cougar?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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