They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Randomize
