apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
There's even glitter on my cock...
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