Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
