If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
third nipple confirmed
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
