when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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