4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Randomize
