Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
