It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Randomize
