doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
