Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
