Fuck appropriateness.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
