Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
There r osticjed everywhere
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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