guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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