theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
