my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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