Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Randomize
