yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
