i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
