drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
No subtext here. People are naked.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
