EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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