one two three fourrrrnication!
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
