So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I have post one night stand depression
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