Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
