Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
