We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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