he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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