i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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