Do vagina's smell?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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