I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
