Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
