I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
