Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
