if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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