She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
