Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Screwed.edu
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
