if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Michael Bay diarrhea
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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