we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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